Thursday, August 14, 2008

It Just Gets Better!

I finally decided, after my PO (yup, I have a Probation officer) asked me to another “Letter of Apology” I already submitted one on time and in compliance with the terms I agreed to on July Xh 2008. The letter submitted read as follows.

This is a letter of apology as per the agreement made pertaining to case # 30-CR-06-bla bla

I am truly sorry I spent the first 40 years of my life completely oblivious to the inner workings of our judicial system, and deeply regret the unfortunate events that took place August X, 2006.

In turn, I have become passionate about MN politics, policies and proposed laws। I stay informed, and I’m more proactive.

Blank blank blab la … ß my signature was here

That was honest, to the point and … well Done right?

I was informed that THAT letter was not good enough and I was handed an outline / format from my PO Officer, Whatsherface, listing the subjects I was to address, and that it should be hand written and more than 1 page long। It Fricken Killed me, it took me days to even attempt to write, and when I DID finally sit down to do it I cried … I’m a tough git ‘er dun kinda gal. Here’s what I mustered up. It’s HONEST, directly addresses each and every listed topic I was asked to address, turned in on time and in compliance with the request made by my PO. On 7/29/2008

“Officer JackAss,

The following “hand written” letter of apology is as per the agreement made pertaining to case # 30-CR-03-Bla Bla signed on July 7, 2008 plus additional detail requested by Whatsherface, probation agent. I was unable to incur the additional attorneys fees necessary to advance my case to trial, nor do I qualify for a court appointed attorney due to “other circumstances”, I’ll learn about 8/28/2008, I’m writing a revised and detailed letter of apology.

According to the “Apology Letter Outline” Presented to me by my probation officer on July 29, 2008 the subjects I am to address are as follows:

  1. “Your apology letter should be an honest sincere look at yourself.”

1a. “Consider the act you were involved in”

1b. “How the violation affected you, your family and the community”


1. I am truly sorry I spent the first 40 years of my life completely oblivious to the inner workings of our judicial system.

1a. I deeply regret the unfortunate events that took place August X, 2006. I am certain had I been in a less vulnerable state of mind I would have been more effective at persuading you to behave in a more professional manor.

1b. I have spent the last two years frightened. I don’t leave my home if its not necessary. My family and friends have witnessed my evolution into reclusion as I’ve been forced to reevaluate my concept of our system. I’ve shared my experience with my peers and children hoping to prevent them from making the same assumption that we have a “working” system in place via our local PD/Judicial system which serves and protects our community residents. I see now that our Law enforcement is in place to keep NON- Law abiding folks in place, there aren’t enough funds in this county to the support the “public service” model I presumed was in place.

2. “How will you repay the community?”

a. Money

b. Volunteer for the victim

c. Volunteer for the community


A. $500.00 via fine as per the signed agreement made pertaining to case # 30-CR-06-bla bla

B. N/A

C. N/A

4.” If you paid money to the victim, how did you earn it? What would you have done with the money, rather than giving it to the court? “


4. I am the victim. I’m maxing out another credit card.

4a. I would have used the money toward home improvements to help enable me to sell my home.

5. “What have you learned, why will you not take part in these kinds of actions anymore”

5a. Lessons Learned as follows:

I learned that I should not assume people who have been in jail are bad people with evil intensions or exhibit reckless and irresponsible behaviors. I will absolutely be more tolerant.

I learned that medication for things like depression, drug abuse, sleep disorders and anxiety aren’t working so well. All but one of the women I shared a cell with was under long term psychiatric care.

I learned folks aren’t necessarily placed in a jail cell because they are a danger to society or themselves. Sometimes folks are placed in custody due to incompatibility issues with a person of power. (I suppose it was possible I could have had an undiagnosed disease that may have infected Mosquitoes and caused sterility or something horrible like that! I’ve since undergone a thorough physical exam and know now I’m not a threat to insects.

I learned that some folks simply thrive on being in total control. I’ve always known that a person is more effective in a position where they have an opportunity to harness their strengths and use them to contribute to a cause they are passionate about.

Above all, I’ve learned to pay closer attention to MN politics, proposed laws and policies BEFORE they are in place.

5b. I will not knowingly allow myself to be vulnerable. I try to stay informed, I’m more proactive.


Blank blank bla bla … ß my signature was here

Did I miss anything? … Today 8/14/2008 I call my PO, AS am obligated to do and ask if she had received the results from my CDA/CUA … I dunno what it’s called, but part of my plea for a Stay of Adjudication agreement was that I was to have a Chemical Dependency/Use assessment completed at my expense within 30 days, I did that, and their findings were, Nope, chemical use is not an issue and from what I understood the minimum requirements of any CDA/CUA was that the person ordered to have the assessment was to attend a 3 hour class at that persons expense. I called my PO on 8/14/2006 and asked How much, where and when do I attend this class … Because I want to stay on top off all the requirement and jump through ALL the Hoops and get this thing over with. To my Delight, my PO says … the CDA/CUA evaluator did not send any recommendation and that THAT part of my probation term had been met. I asked if there were any other “Terms” that needed to be met and she said “Yes” The “Letter of Apology” She told me she thought is was sarcastic and did not relay a message she thought was a worthy apology to the Victim. Mind you the “Victim” in her mind according only to the Police report that she read, not my documentation and my witnesses documentation of the events that took place that evening.

According to what Officer JackAss wrote, I Do look like a monster. Cops Lie… I get it … I so would have never believed that two years ago, but they do. And, they cover each other… it’s just Neaking Fruts< --- (trying not to use bad language). So I ask the PO to take an hour with me and give me an opportunity to tell her what went on that night . She becomes very authoritative, her tone changes and she tells me I’m not listening, and You don’t get it. She refuses to tell me exactly where my letter failed to meet the requirement she listed in the outline, and informed me that because I won’t rewrite the letter that she has no choice but to take it to the county attorney. Mind you on July 22nd I called about another issue I’m dealing with and found that the Court Administrator had made a mistake and recorded my Summons as a warrant… (something I will address later, right now I need to just BLOG this Chaos out)

Damn right, I just don’t get it. I wrote TWO letters of apology to the best of my ability as honestly and diplomatically as I could given the circumstances without lying. I let my PO know that I absolutely will not lie and that that was the best I could do. I asked her to directly address the content that was not in compliance with what she had asked me to do. At this point she informed me my cell phone was cutting out and it was difficult for her to understand me and that I was yelling and that the conversation was over and she would be contacting that Dist attorney. Good thing my cell phone was cutting out cuz had the conversation continued, I think I may have lost it.

Holy cow… No way am I gonna back down, I will fight this… it is just NOT OK, I apologize to anyone that came to me trying to explain how “THE system had them under their thumb” and I belittled them, I was wrong. It will not happen again.

That’s it for today, I’m gonna go to bed and pray these nuts don’t wake me up to tell me they have a warrant for my arrest or that they need to search my home, cuz I’m on Probation, they CAN do that … wow… Scary place, but hey, I signed the paper.

1 comment:

Jim L said...

If nothing else this should make it glaringly clear that they've been down this road before and are way more prepared for you than you are for them.

I look forward to the post with the Happy Ending. Please make that happen.